


place to lose your fears

by seikou



Category: GOT7
Genre: Anal Fingering, Body Worship, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rimming, Self-Esteem Issues, handjobs, idol!verse, slight angst, thigh worship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 11:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5926198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seikou/pseuds/seikou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"jaebum, in just that briefest glance, sees the emotions jackson has hidden for so long written on the other’s face. he wants to take them away. wants jackson to see himself how jaebum sees him;</p>
<p>bright like the sun. cheerful as a child. the most precious human being that jaebum has the good fortune to meet."</p>
<p>(or: jaebum shows jackson how loved he is)</p>
            </blockquote>





	place to lose your fears

it’s the repeated words that cuts through. again and again and  _ again _ those words floats in the air like they’re nothing but he knows they’re everything. everything that the other hides and stews like some precious wine but somehow, he lets them  _ kill _ him on the inside like parasites. they grow with every year that passes and they’ve been together for  _ long _ .

jaebum inhales deeply, letting the air out in a loud whoosh as they enter their dorm. today has been exhausting, draining the life out of him and coupled with all the thoughts nagging at him, he feels like collapsing on his bed.

but he can’t. not yet.

because  _ jackson _ is going to sit in a corner again, thinking about all his flaws, drowning in self-doubt and his self-hate and jaebum sometimes wonders how jackson is able to switch from cheerful to depressed in a matter of seconds. he’d say it’s a talent but jaebum guesses it’s taken the other years of practice.

and at that thought, his chest clenches and he hurries to their room, exhaustion forgotten in lieu of making sure jackson is fine. okay.  _ better than ever _ .

“jackson?” he whispers as he closes the door, the room dark and quiet.

he squints his eyes, sight getting used to his surroundings and spots a lump on the bed, covered with the duvet so tightly he looks like a human burrito.

jaebum swallows and squares his shoulders, stepping close to the other.

“hey.” he whispers, hands settling on what he thinks is jackson’s back but can also be his ass. “let me see you, jacks.”

the lump twitches but doesn’t do anything else. jaebum sighs and lays beside jackson, arms wrapping around what he assumes is the other’s waist. he’s proven right in his assumption when finally jackson emerges from his safety fort, tilting his head to look at jaebum before looking away again and sighing deeply.

jaebum, in just that briefest glance, sees the emotions jackson has hidden for so long written on the other’s face. he wants to take them away. wants jackson to see himself how jaebum sees him;

bright like the sun. cheerful as a child. the most precious human being that jaebum has the good fortune to meet.

“hey, come on. look at me.” he orders, voice stern. jackson moves at that, knowing that jaebum won’t tolerate any bullshit from him.

when finally the blonde faces him, the older stares, enamored.  _ so in love _ .

raising a hand to stroke jackson’s warm cheek, jaebum meets his gaze, steady. “you know you’re amazing, right?” he says, feeling out of his depth. he has never been good at comforting someone with words. “you’re the sassiest person but you’re also the most beautiful. why are you focusing on the negative, jackson?”

jaebum perfectly knows why because they’ve gone through this conversation before. jackson falls apart more frequently than people thinks, his happy facade falling along with his self-esteem. and jaebum is there to catch him, whisper words of praises; of everything that jackson needs to hear, needs to know, and more.  _ more _ .

there’s a moment of silence after jaebum’s question and he can see jackson picking out words in his mind, trying to compose the answer that will please jaebum. another minute passes, he blinks, and when he focuses his gaze on jackson once again, he’s met with insecure eyes, bottom lip between the blonde’s teeth and brows furrowed deeply. it’s a look that jaebum doesn’t like.

“i’m just--” jackson starts. “i mean, i’m over them. i  _ am _ . but sometimes they just, you know.” he jerks his head, like jaebum will understand what the gesture means. he does. jackson continues. “and then i start doubting again, like there’s some trigger inside of me waiting to be clicked and here i am. i’m sorry.” he ends, eyes downcast.

the older keeps his eyes trained on jackson, mind whirling because his exhaustion is making him quite delirious. quite mean, quite fed up, and as much as he wants to coddle jackson right now, he also wants to prove to him that  _ he’s so fucking beautiful. fuck _ , jaebum sometimes is left breathless.

he sighs in exasperation. “jackson.” he says, voice soft but also tight. he moves on top of the jackson lump before grabbing the duvet forcefully, immediately getting rid of it. the blonde looks at him with wide eyes and he answers with a small smile.

“what the fuck?”

jaebum continues to smile as he takes in jackson’s figure on their bed, clad in nothing but his boxers.  _ good _ , he thinks because he’s going to wash away jackson’s doubts and insecurities tonight. even just for one night, it’s enough. they’ll talk again tomorrow. for now, jaebum is set on making jackson feel as  _ precious _ as jaebum thinks he truly is.

“don’t say sorry to me.” he murmurs, hands settling on jackson’s hips. “i’m not the one suffering.” his hands starts trailing down jackson’s thighs, tips of his fingers pressing lightly as he moves them up and down. he watches jackson squirm, pursing his lips, darting his eyes between jaebum’s face and where his hands are touching.

it would have been amusing if jaebum doesn’t know jackson is feeling self-concious. and jaebum continues because he needs to drill into jackson that everything about him, his thighs, his voice, his stomach, his fucking  _ height _ is enough; what he has now and what he is is more than enough.

he settles his hands on the back of jackson’s knees, spreading the other’s legs so he can settle in between them. he grins at jackson’s questioning stare, puppy eyes blinking in confusion.  _ adorable _ .

“i really like your thighs, jacks.” he whispers, attaching his lips on jackson’s inner thigh. he feels the shiver that goes through the blonde’s body and he smiles, tongue darting out to lick a stripe on the warm skin. “they’re very muscular and strong. how many times a week do you do leg day, huh?” jaebum teases, teeth clamping down on the skin underneath and sucking a bruise there.  _ been here _ , it says.  _ mine _ , louder.

“what are you--” jackson breathes out, looking at jaebum with dark eyes. the light coming in from the street lamp outside is enough to illuminate jackson in all his half-naked beauty. it’s  _ arousing _ .

“shh, i’m talking.” he shushes the blonde, head shaking lightly. jackson’s thighs trembles as he continues to kiss, bite and suck. the skin blooming into a bruise quickly and jaebum finds it beautiful against jackson’s incredibly pale thighs. “did you know i really like it when you wrap your muscular legs around me tightly?” jaebum continues talking. “they only make me wanna  _ fuck _ into you more, wreck you more.”

jackson lets out a whine and jaebum looks up, leaving his place on decorating the blonde’s other thigh in pretty bruises. jackson is clenching the sheet under his hands, eyes shut tightly, chest moving quickly as he tries to take in some much needed air. jaebum feels satisfaction at the sight.

though he’s not done yet. probably never.

crawling up, he looms over the other, gaze intense as jackson finally opens his eyes and they’re filled with lust, desire swirling in his dark pupils and jaebum can’t help but lean down, capturing those red lips. he relishes in the soft lips that meets his and the sound that jackson lets out after, muffled by their kiss. he bites on the other’s lower lip lightly, tongue soothing after and coaxing jackson to open his mouth. he can’t wait to ravage this person. make a mess out of him, tell him he’s his everything.  _ his fucking world, fuck _ .

his tongue tangles with jackson’s own and he focuses on the feeling of their combined breaths instead of how jackson is squirming under him, hips wanting to move but can’t because jaebum is holding his hips tightly, fingers leaving temporary marks on him. he sucks jackson’s tongue, leaving another deep kiss before pulling away, breathing heavily.

swollen lips, closed lids, pliant body; jaebum is so taken with him and he wishes jackson can see this. see how he’s irrisistably sinful but at the same time frustratingly innocent. his trust sometimes makes jaebum’s head spin, his honesty so admirable and jaebum wants jackson to witness the pure that is wang jackson.

he breathes in deeply and leaves countless of kisses all over jackson’s face while he rids the other of his boxers. jackson’s eyes snaps at the action, forever questioning.

“i’m showing you how much i love everything about you.” if he isn’t so aroused, jaebum would have cringed at his choice of words because that was cheesy as fuck. jackson though, just stares at him, eyes blinking, disbelieving.

“what?” he gripes, voice weak. “what are you doing?  _ jaebum _ .” he sucks in a breath as jaebum traces a finger down his hard length.

“ _ jackson _ .” jaebum bites back. “so hard already?” he questions teasingly, raising a brow. fingers grips jackson’s cock lightly, moving from base to the head, smearing the bit of pre-come on tip. the blonde’s expression morphs from confusion to frustration to desperation, his cheeks blooming into a deep red. 

“jaebum, please.” jackson moans, legs pressing tightly against jaebum’s sides.

“no,” is his firm reply and he lets go of jackson’s cock.

he shifts, grips jackson’s hips tightly and flips the other into his stomach with all the strength he can muster. jackson lets out a squeak and scrambles into his hands and knees, head moving to the side to glare at jaebum.

“what the actual fuck, im jaebum.” he hisses, arousal momentarily forgotten.

jaebum just snorts and rolls his eyes. “shush, you big baby.”

jackson opens his mouth to sass jaebum,  _ he knows _ , but clamps them instead, teeth clacking at how fast he shuts his pretty mouth before crumbling into his elbows with a loud moan like they’re the only one’s in the dorm. they aren’t but jaebum doesn’t care. not right now.

he slaps jackson’s ass cheek again, skin getting warm under his touch. he leans down and bites at jackson’s cheek then murmurs, “i love your ass too. they’re so amazing. do you know that, jacks?” his hands squeezes the firm ass under them. “it’s so firm under my touch.” he continues conversationally, like he’s not about to eat jackson out. “i love them. and your thighs. and your fucking happy trail.  _ fuck _ .” he clicks his tongue before using it to lick into jackson’s twitching hole.

a groan escapes jackson, his body trembling as jaebum continues opening him up with his tongue, thrusting in and out in a lazy way, like he’s got all the time in the world eating jackson’s ass out. he squeezes the other’s ass cheeks, spreading them wider and burying his face further into jackson’s glorious ass.

jackson’s moans and groans are increasing in volume. jaebum considers that his cue to insert a spit slicked finger inside the equally spit slicked hole in front of him. he does so slowly, moving his finger just slightly as he moves and covers jackson’s sweat covered back with his shirt clad chest. he mouths at jackson’s neck, careful to not leave any marks.

“hey, jacks.” he presses a kiss on jackson’s shoulder blade. “alright?”

jackson turns his head, blonde hair a mess, and looks at jaebum while biting his lower lip. he nods, eyes half-lidded. jaebum adds another finger inside him, thrusting deeply.

“let me hear you, jackson.” he says, shifting his aim inside the other. jackson smashes his face against the sheets, muffling a cry as jaebum hits his prostate. the older can see how high strung jackson is becoming, ready to explode, body tightening and breaths coming out in short puffs.

he continues to move his fingers, third one joining the other two. jackson’s breath hitches, eyes clenching tightly as his mouth parts.

“i’m com-- jaebum. jaebum.” jackson sobs, jaebum’s name leaving his mouth like a prayer and jaebum feels himself filled with affection and arousal. but tonight is for jackson, so he continues, hitting that spot inside the other with no mercy.

he whispers, “you’re beautiful, jacks.”

he bites on jackson’s skin and mutters, “so fucking gorgeous.”

he licks the sweat on the back of jackson’s neck and growls, “so lovely and mine.”

jackson’s legs are starting to give up as he fists the sheets under his palms, almost ripping them. he’s so  _ strong _ and jaebum  _ loves  _ jackson for submitting to him.

“come on.” he urges, crooking his fingers and thrusting them fast and deep. “come for me, jackson.” he takes a hold of jackson’s weeping cock, his hand moving in synch with the fingers in jackson’s ass.

the blonde’s body tightens, a loud moan escapes him and his whole body shakes as he releases on jaebum’s hand and the sheets, his tight hole clenching on jaebum’s fingers.

jaebum guides him on his descend from his high, murmuring sweet nothings and praises that he knows soothes jackson’s mind. he moves from hovering over jackson’s form and turns the other on his back carefully, brushing sweaty blonde hair from jackson’s forehead. he kisses red bitten lips softly, continues to caress jackson’s hips and thighs as he waits for the other to stop trembling.

a moment passes and he hears jackson inhale a deep breath, letting it out shakily. jaebum smiles down at the blonde, “good?”

jackson blinks at him, eyes wide, content, and he smiles his gorgeous smile and jaebum is so in love with that smile and the person that owns it. “yeah,” jackson raps out, voice hoarse. “thank you.” he adds after a beat, cheeks flushing a deep red.

the older plants another kiss on jackson’s lips, still smiling, “hmm, my pleasure.” he replies and adds more seriously, “remember this jackson. can you do that for me?” he leans his forehead against the other’s. “remember that you’re always loved, alright? because fuck, if you don’t i’ll make you sleep on the floor.”

a laugh escapes jackson. jaebum follows and his own arousal is forgotten in lieu of settling down beside the blonde, feeling content. and exhaustion is crashing back into him, making his bones feel like jelly.

he feels jackson move, facing him and tucking his blonde head on the crook of his neck. “okay. i will. i promise.” he says, and jaebum belatedly realizes that he’s answering jaebum’s words moments ago. then he quips in that sassy voice of his, “but you didn’t clean me! what kind of lover are you?”

jackson really have the talent to ruin moments. amazing.

but jaebum rather adores him like this; biting, cheerful,  _ beautiful _ .

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i haven't updated "if you love me right" yet because i need this shit out of my mind. but im twerking-- i mean working on it. goddamnit. on to some serious note, i wrote this because jackson says shit like his thighs are thick, they aren't attractive, his hairy happy trail, his short height aND IM SO FRUSTRATED BC HE'S JUST SO PRECIOUS. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, so i needed jaebum to love him real bad. also, i stand by what they said about sharing a room together. no one can convince me otherwise, so yeh. anyways, im banged up. when am i not? so i hope y'all like this and please no one show this to shit7, im die omg. ok bye luv u boos


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